


Like Hamlet and Fortinbras

by InTheShadows



Series: Destiny Has Blue Eyes [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Canon Era, Depends on how you look at it I guess, Don't copy to another site, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s05e11 The Drawing of the Dark, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Hopeful Ending, I think?, Mordred Gets A Hug, Mordred Needs A Hug, Mordred-centric (Merlin), Protective Merlin (Merlin), but also a bit of:, can you change the future?, that's the real question here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-21 14:34:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20695142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTheShadows/pseuds/InTheShadows
Summary: When Merlin pulls Mordred away from Arthur's room, he didn't exactly have a plan in mind. All he knew it that he needed to get Mordred away. Get him contained possibly. And talk - they needed to talk, no matter how much Merlin may not want to. This isn't just about Kara anymore, but about the prophecy, Mordred's loyalty, Merlin's vision, everything. Here is the crossroads. Will it be enough?





	Like Hamlet and Fortinbras

**Author's Note:**

> I've been thinking of something like this for a while and have finally decided to write it. It's been some time since I watched s5, so this might be a little rough on the timeline of the episode, but it's fanfiction. That's basically what we do.

“He’s going to kill her,” Mordred seethes, eyes burning with anger, “Just like that, he’s going to kill her because- because-” he chokes on the words, hands clenching helplessly against his side. 

Whether it is because he is too emotional to speak or because he can’t verbalize just what Kara tried to do, Merlin doesn’t know. What he does know is that the hallway - no matter how seemingly deserted - is no place for this conversation. 

When he dragged Mordred out of Arthur’s room he had hoped he would have a little more time than this. Time enough to get somewhere private at least. He had no illusion about avoiding this conversation altogether. It’s not something he should, even if he was able to. 

This is why he dragged Mordred from the rooms in the first place. Mordred was very close to pushing Arthur into doing something all three of them would regret. Well. Arthur would regret it. Merlin may or may not, depending on what it was. Mordred was too angry right now to think of anything past that anger. So he took matters into his own hands. It was an impulsive decision, but one he couldn’t help. And hadn’t they been surprised when Merlin had the strength to literally drag Mordred away. 

_ Not now _, Merlin thunders into Mordred’s head to make sure he gets the point across. 

“You will not stop-” Mordred starts and then chokes on his words. 

Merlin just nods in grim satisfaction. Yes he can take more drastic measures to keep him silent. He doesn’t enjoy it, but he can. _ Not here _ , he continues, _ unless you want the whole of Camelot to know of this _? He challenges with a raised eyebrow. 

Mordred stays silent. Although with an expression like that he doesn’t need to say a thing. Merlin knows exactly what he is thinking. 

He leads them to his room, past Gaius and his concerned look and locks the door behind him. “You were saying?” Best to let Mordred get out his initial burst before saying anything. 

“He’s going to kill her. Arthur is going to kill Kara and you are just going to stand by and let it happen. Just like you’ve stood by and watched all of the others. These are your people Emrys. _ Your people _. You should be protecting them, not standing in the shadows while they are killed.” 

Merlin refuses to show just how much that hurts, Just how close that particular accusation cuts. Because it’s true isn’t it? Time and time again Merlin has had to choose Arthur over everyone else. Over friends, over fellow magic users, over _ everyone _. Arthur always comes first. It’s not something he necessarily regrets, but he won’t pretend that it doesn’t burn at times. 

That constantly denying part of himself doesn’t weigh him down. He is supposed to bring magic back to the land - everyone he has ever spoken to is clear on that part of the prophecy. If only he knew how. 

If only every goddess be damned magic user stopped trying to kill Arthur. That would be a wonderful first step. And it would make things easier for him too. How Arthur ever survived long enough to meet Merlin is still a mystery to him. With the number of assassination attempts he stopped he should have been dead long ago. Or were they all saving their efforts until Merlin was there so stop them? How very thoughtful of them. 

And here it is again, the same problem. Another person who hates the Pendragons for what Uther did. Because of what he taught Arthur about magic. What he ordered Arthur to do in his name. There are some days he truly despises Uther for what he did to Arthur. 

“She tried to kill Arthur,” Merlin answers, “She vowed to _ keep _ trying to kill him. If she would leave him alone then he would let her go. You know he would. You mean a great deal to him.” The words taste like ashes in his mouth, but he ignores it. Now is not the time to deal with that particular issue. Unless he can get Mordred to stop then he _ will _ fulfill Merlin’s vision. He will kill Arthur. All this time he has been watching and waiting for the catalyst. This is it, he is sure of it. If he can stop Mordred here, maybe he can stop the vision after all. He has to try. 

The words don’t phase Mordred at all. “And that’s supposed to make it better? Make it so that Kara is the only one to blame? She has a reason for her hatred.” 

“Arthur is your king,” Merlin reminds him sharply, “I’d be careful about defending something like that. Besides that isn’t the problem. She can hate Arthur until the day she dies for all I care, as long as she _ leaves him alone _.” Why can’t all the people who hate Arthur just move away without seeking revenge? Again it would make things so much easier for him. 

“A king who does not care for his people,” Mordred growls. 

Merlin could strangle him. He will too if he ever says that to Arthur’s face. “A king who has to uphold the laws.” He matches Mordred stare of stare. “A king who tries his best - who tries to fix his mistakes. He is the Once and Future KIng for a reason. But that doesn’t mean he never has to make any hard decisions.” 

“He is going to kill her.” The pain in those words come straight from his soul. It is as if they are being torn out of him. “I love her and Arthur is going to kill her. How would you feel if Arthur killed the woman you loved?” 

“He did,” Merlin says simply, bluntly, without any infliction in his voice. 

Mordred jerks back as if Merlin had hit him. “What?” 

And so Merlin tells him about Freya, holding nothing back. Now is not the time. Now is the time to let it all out, to confess all those short lived dreams he once imagined. Maybe it was foolish to think it could ever happen - no, it was, no maybe about it - but at the time he hadn’t cared. At the time it was so new and so wonderful and so hopeful. Even with her curse Merlin felt so much hope. Then Arthur stuck a sword in her chest, ending the dream for good. 

“That’s not the same,” Mordred protests when he is done, but it is a weak one. He looks at Merlin with wide eyes. 

“No?” Merlin asks. In a way he knows Mordred is right. Freya wasn’t a childhood friend. They hadn’t known each other for long at all. And her curse would have always been a problem. But in a way they are exactly the same. At least Arthur won’t be personally involved in this, even if it is on his order. 

Mordred looks away. His jaw is so tightly clenched his teeth might actually break under the pressure. _ How do you stand it _ ? he asks silently, _ You have given up so much for Arthur. How do you do it _? 

“Because he is worth it,” Merlin answers out loud, but softly. Gently. “Because at first this destiny was a burden to me. Now I can’t imagine my life without him. Arthur has been my world these last ten years whether I wanted him to be or not. You were willing to die for him before. Has that changed now?” 

Mordred squeezes his eyes shut. A tear falls down, hitting the floor, but both ignore it. His entire body is trembling now with emotion. Still he shakes his head. He looks up, eyes shining gold, but nothing happens. 

Merlin finds himself unable to simply stand by and do nothing. All the fear and distrust he had for Mordred doesn’t matter in that moment. He doesn’t see Arthur’s would be murderer in front of him, but a lost boy in need of comfort. He pulls him in for a hug. Gently he cradles Mordred’s head against his shoulder, not saying a thing. Words won’t help right now. 

Mordred returns the hug as tightly as he can. He presses up against Merlin so that there is no space in between them. His hold is enough to snap a person in half. Unsteady gasps, once they start, don’t stop as he clings. He’s not crying exactly, but he isn’t far off. 

Merlin returns the hold. Maybe if he can hold Mordred together well enough than it will be alright. Things won’t fall apart. Visions will be avoided. They will all live happily together. Maybe the two of them have a chance after all. In the end the only reason Merlin has been holding himself back is because of fear. What if Mordred really does kill Arthur? But what if his fear is exactly what brings these events to pass? What if, by giving in and befriending Mordred, he is able to stop it? 

Playing with visions has never worked well for him before. Something has always gone wrong. The thing he tried to stop always came to pass. But how is he supposed to know which is the right choice here? He doesn’t know. Mordred continues to shake in his arms until he slumps down, exhausted. Merlin combs his fingers through his hair. 

“Come to bed,” he murmurs, helping him down and under the covers. Gently he helps take off his boots and his top layer of clothing. 

Mordred can hardly keep his eyes open, but he keeps his gaze on Merlin anyways. Merlin takes off his own boots and prepares himself for a night on the floor when a voice stops him. 

_ Don’t leave me Emrys. Please _, Mordred begs. 

Merlin nods and changes his plans, crawling into his bed along side Mordred. There isn’t really room for two people, but they make it work with some shuffling and rearranging. Limbs tangle up with each other as they move to get comfortable. At least this way Merlin will know if Mordred tries to leave. Not that he can, with the spell he put on the door. 

“Good night Mordred,” he mutters, suddenly exhausted himself. 

_ Good night Emrys. _ A pause. _ Thank you. _

He doesn’t reply. Is this the right thing to do? Merlin doesn’t know. But the old way wasn’t working so maybe it is time for a change. Only time will tell at this point. Terrifying - yet true. 


End file.
